Dear Sugar

Dear Sugar,

I’m twenty-nine and dating a man that I adore; we’re planning to move in together soon. I have a stable job that I hate, but I hope that I’ll one day find something I enjoy. I have family and friends and hobbies and interests and love. So much love. And I’m desperately afraid that I’m going to have cancer. I’m terrified that sooner or later, I’ll be diagnosed. My mother had breast cancer when I was in college. She survived hers, but in some ways, she didn’t. It broke her, Sugar. My father died of liver cancer when I was in high school—he was never lucky enough to be counted “a survivor.” My grandmother had a brain tumor when I was a newborn; she didn’t live to see my first birthday. As much as I take care of my health, as much as I try to be careful, I have this niggling doubt that my genes are setting me up for failure. I know you can’t tell me whether or not I will have cancer, and I know you can’t tell me when. But what I’m struggling with—what I need help figuring out—is how to make the decisions in my life while keeping this possibility in mind. You know the decisions I mean: The Big Ones.

How do I decide whether or not to get married? How do I look in to the face of this man I adore and explain to him what he might have to go through if I am diagnosed? And worse, if I don’t make it? I’ve already decided not to have children. How can I saddle a child with something that I don’t even think I can face myself? How do I plan for the future when there may be no future to plan for? They say “live your life to the fullest because there may be no tomorrow,” but what about the consequences of “no tomorrow” on the people that you love? How do I prepare them for what I might have to go through? How do I prepare myself? – Scared of Future

Dear Scared of Future, I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. There are so many other people going through the same adversities as you. Many are scared of the future as you are but you have to think of this life that was given to you. Its never healthy to live so worried, and fill yourself with such agonizing anxiety of what tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow can bring you promises and more than you can imagine. Don’t worry about your uncertain cancer. Worrying more about it can make you sick. My family has had a long line of survivors and fighters but it never affected the way they lived their life. They lived everyday as if it were another normal day. If they wanted to get married, they would and I would give the same advice to you. If you truly love your husband, be with him even if it means forever or a short period of time. This is what life is all about, really living it to your fullest. Don’t worry about tomorrow, worry about now. Worry about your life and what you’re going to do to really make life living worth it.

The real response is more detailed and explains how there is just a crazy lady in her head putting bad thoughts in it. She also explains how she should find the source of the crazy and cut it off. This is like how I said that you shouldn’t be scared of the unknown and the uncertainty. This crazy lady has clouded her reasonable side and she should not listen to it. She explains how she shouldn’t be scared and goes more into detail about the husband, and how he shouldn’t fret either. She personifies this crazy person but also gives great advice about what to do in the situation. She also compares the point of view, like what would happen if it were the other way around, would you want to know? I think this is where her advice really comes in handy, because she looks at it at all sides and all the good and bad. This way we can really understand what she is saying and take in her words of wisdom. She is more logical in giving advice and it works very well for her writing.